As I mentioned on Facebook, I recently talked with a group at MRLEC about my books, process, et cetera. A gentleman approached me at the end of the chat and asked how I handled criticism of my writing. He struggled with it.
I’ll tell you what I told him. I genuinely don’t care if criticism is not constructive.
Constructive criticism is excellent. It is easy to have on blinders. Sometimes, we cannot see that a beloved scene does not work. A fresh perspective makes all the difference.
However, the other kind of criticism serves zero purpose. Let’s say that someone hates the book. They say horrible things about it that cross the line into a personal attack.
So, how do you react? Change your perspective. First, the person bought the book even though they ultimately hated it; you got a sale. Second, you must repeatedly tell yourself: my books aren’t their cup of tea. You cannot please everyone. Don’t let it stop you from writing.
This advice can apply to other aspects of life, too. Full disclosure – my attitude has not always been so pragmatic. For too many years, I listened to the negativity and believed it. Ultimately, I decided people attempted to transfer their misery to me.
Their comments were not constructive, so why listen to them? And, more importantly, why should I, in turn, make other people’s lives miserable by passing on the same grief? Life is too short to stay in a cycle of negativity.
Let this blog post offer you some encouragement. Some people will always be critical of what you do, how you look, what you say, et cetera.
Take a moment to listen to the words. Never forget that some criticism is constructive. For example, a friend tells you, “You look fabulous in blue, but pink isn’t your color.”
Your friend didn’t say you looked awful; they said a particular color was less flattering. Don’t be so arrogant that you ignore efforts to help you be better.
After you listen to the words, ask yourself: does this comment serve any purpose? If the answer is no, then put it out of your mind. It’s just noise.
Becoming a better person does not happen overnight. It is a lifelong journey. Listen whenever people try to help you – and ignore them when they aren’t.
Keep your chin up. You are awesome!